14

[perfectactor]

Title: Be my baby?...
Rating: Safe for anyone who knows the canon
Pairing: James/Nicky, with past Nicky/Richey
A/N: Happy Valentine's day!
Warnings: This is actually angst!fic, with a side-serving of schmoop, sorry. AU-ish, in the sense of Nicky-had-a-relationship-with-Richey-post-1993-how-did-that-happen? - I cocked up the canon, or made them have open relationships. Whichever way you want it, baby.
Disclaimer: Don't own them. Don't want to. This is as 'real' as my other ones, hopefully. Title is after that Vanessa Paradis song everyone likes, except Richey. There's also a quote from The Charlatans - The Only One I Know in this fic. Thanks to Marilyn for linking me to Nicky's anecdote about having it on his alarm during finals!

"Happy Valentine's Day," Nicky read out his card, which was nothing but a piece of cut-out cardboard, lovingly decorated by its sender. He even drew a glittery heart, the cheeky imp! "Love, James." written in his handwriting. That round, girlish handwriting Nicky would normally tease him about.

"Thank you." Nicky said, thinking how he can't possibly accept this valentine, and actually feeling worse about this day than he already had, a dark cloud hanging over his head.

"I thought, you know, that you might appreciate the gesture." James shrugs, grinning self-consciously. As if playing it off as a gesture between friends who deeply care about each other - and love each other, yes, but not in a more than friendly way -  would make Nicky's rejection - or worse, lack or acknowledgement - easier to deal with.

"Look, I know this day isn't easy for you, for any of us, but I thought it might cheer you up."

Nicky thanks James again, tucking the note in his handbag and smiling at James. He's got smiles from now until next year, but he'll be the first to admit 'it takes a lot these days', as Richey would say. It takes something extraordinary to make an adult smile...

Nicky has his own way to make himself smile. He thinks about the last time he had a genuine Valentine's Day celebration. Not last year, of course, that's when Richey's car was recovered, two weeks after Richey had gone missing. That is also on Nicky's mind, and he doesn't want to ignore it, he wants to remember it. But there's also one of his happiest memories, from the year before. Valentine's Day 1994.


Nicky had skip-stepped into Richey's Cardiff flat, whistling one of his own favourite tunes, which he woke up to every day during his finals. 'The only one I know, has gone, to take me away...'  And he'd come to take Richey away, for the day. He got him out of his clothes first, fixing him a nice, long, bubblebath. And then he got Richey his jeans and a red tee, helping him with his hair and makeup - Richey even let him put some colourless glitter, for once.  And Nicky made Richey's hair nice and fluffy, the way he likes it, not flat or drawn back like Richey'd do. Then he grabbed Richey and took him to the park, to ride one of these peddling-boats that's shaped like a swan. Richey made faces the entire time and giggled about how 'Valentine's Day is shit', but Nicky thinks Richey had a good day that day. Nicky did it because he wanted to give Richey a chance to enjoy Valentine's Day.

Maybe next year, Nicky'll get his chance to enjoy it. Then, maybe in a couple of years, or more. Maybe never.