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perfectactor) wrote2011-07-30 07:13 pm
perfectactor) wrote2011-07-30 07:13 pm
(no subject)
Title: The ten commandments
Author: Me
Rating: R
Pairings: Mostly Ian/Will, but if you squint, there are others
Summary: the lj comm hurt_comfort suggests the ten commandments for a prompt table. I'm tired, so I thought - why not do something cracky?
Disclaimer: The people I'm writing about don't do these things, OK?
Warning: Character death. He was already dead when we arrived at the scene, though. :P
Thou shalt not bear strange gods before me
Liverpool
Eric's, November 1978.
Ian is doing his hair in the ladies' bathroom, where the only mirror was. He can feel Will breathing on the back of his neck, so Ian turns his head to acknowledge him. Will adjusts Ian's collar gently in front of the mirror.
"Time for us to go on stage, Duke." Will says, his voice reflecting near-boredom.
"Would you stop calling me Duke, Will?" Ian whispers nervously. "I told you, my name isn't Duke. I'm Ian."
After a long moment of reflection, and going on stage to set up the drum machine, Will comes back with a retort. "I don't understand. If you don't want to be Duke, why do you go on dressing up and doing your hair like Bowie's Thin White Duke?"
Instead of getting irritated, Ian looks at Will and smiles. "You know nothing about fashion, do you, Will?"
[Reference: The myth lives on.]
Thou shalt not take the name of Thy Lord God in vain
"Oh God... Oh God... Oh God, Will!"
Will looks back at Ian with a glint in his eye. "If I were a religious man, I'd be offended by how much you abuse his name during an orgasm."
Keep holy the Sabbath Day
Julian Cope, looking down at Ian, who's presently lying down on Julian's sofa with his head on one armrest, and his legs dangling off the other. "Are you going to recline on my sofa all day, McCull?"
Ian, opening one eye at Julian. "It's Saturday. It's my God-given right to rest," - He moans.
Julian is outraged. "You're not even Jewish." He scowls.
Ian closes his eye, his features looking agonized as if he's faking an headache. "Piss off, you hippy turd." He growls back at Julian.
[Reference: See 'The Crucial Three']
Honor thy father and thy mother
"Where did you get those lips from, your mam or your dad?"
Ian looks up at Will, speaking to him slowly and irritably. "I'm giving you a blowjob. Could you please leave my parents out of it?"
Thou shalt not kill
Ian puts his hand on his hips, looking at the bodybag in the trunk. "Where do we bury Bono?"
"You just can't keep out of trouble when I'm not around..." Will looks back at him accusingly.
[Inspiration: loosely based on http://mirror.uncyc.org/wiki/Echo_%26_t
Thou shalt not commit adultery
"For fuck's sake, Ian, you just got married..." Will opens his eyes at Ian disbelievingly.
"I don't see what it has to do with my question on whether or not you'd like to do watersports with me." Ian pouts.
Thou shalt not steal
"Fucking Julian Cope!" Ian shrieked.
[ Reference: http://nardwuar.com/vs/ian_mcculloch/ian_mcculloch-page2.html "He stole three of my tunes..."]
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor
"Hello, Johnny? It's Ian McCulloch. I'm calling you from a pay-phone, I wanted to tell you that the demo tapes we did got stolen from my car this morning. Yeah, I'm really sorry... Alright, I'll talk to you later, I've got to run home. I think I left a fish cooking in the oven, I gotta hang up. Bye... Watcha doing, Will?... No, don't touch that. Heh... Awwhh... Stop messing with my nipple! I told you I'm calling Johnny. Oh crap, I put the phone down, didn't I?... Dammit."
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife
"Do you want to, you know, split the cab and go somewhere private?"
Will crosses his arms, looking silently at Ian.
"What about your wife, is she up for a quickie?"
"I'm going to kill you, one of these days..." Will mumbles.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods
"Did you see my '...Waiting For The Man' single, Ian?"
Ian was sat on the floor, looking at the sleeve.
"You can't take it. It's not my fault you keep losing your copy."
[ I'm Waiting For The Man ]
Author: Me
Rating: R
Pairings: Mostly Ian/Will, but if you squint, there are others
Summary: the lj comm hurt_comfort suggests the ten commandments for a prompt table. I'm tired, so I thought - why not do something cracky?
Disclaimer: The people I'm writing about don't do these things, OK?
Warning: Character death. He was already dead when we arrived at the scene, though. :P
Thou shalt not bear strange gods before me
Liverpool
Eric's, November 1978.
Ian is doing his hair in the ladies' bathroom, where the only mirror was. He can feel Will breathing on the back of his neck, so Ian turns his head to acknowledge him. Will adjusts Ian's collar gently in front of the mirror.
"Time for us to go on stage, Duke." Will says, his voice reflecting near-boredom.
"Would you stop calling me Duke, Will?" Ian whispers nervously. "I told you, my name isn't Duke. I'm Ian."
After a long moment of reflection, and going on stage to set up the drum machine, Will comes back with a retort. "I don't understand. If you don't want to be Duke, why do you go on dressing up and doing your hair like Bowie's Thin White Duke?"
Instead of getting irritated, Ian looks at Will and smiles. "You know nothing about fashion, do you, Will?"
[Reference: The myth lives on.]
Thou shalt not take the name of Thy Lord God in vain
"Oh God... Oh God... Oh God, Will!"
Will looks back at Ian with a glint in his eye. "If I were a religious man, I'd be offended by how much you abuse his name during an orgasm."
Keep holy the Sabbath Day
Julian Cope, looking down at Ian, who's presently lying down on Julian's sofa with his head on one armrest, and his legs dangling off the other. "Are you going to recline on my sofa all day, McCull?"
Ian, opening one eye at Julian. "It's Saturday. It's my God-given right to rest," - He moans.
Julian is outraged. "You're not even Jewish." He scowls.
Ian closes his eye, his features looking agonized as if he's faking an headache. "Piss off, you hippy turd." He growls back at Julian.
[Reference: See 'The Crucial Three']
Honor thy father and thy mother
"Where did you get those lips from, your mam or your dad?"
Ian looks up at Will, speaking to him slowly and irritably. "I'm giving you a blowjob. Could you please leave my parents out of it?"
Thou shalt not kill
Ian puts his hand on his hips, looking at the bodybag in the trunk. "Where do we bury Bono?"
"You just can't keep out of trouble when I'm not around..." Will looks back at him accusingly.
[Inspiration: loosely based on http://mirror.uncyc.org/wiki/Echo_%26_t
Thou shalt not commit adultery
"For fuck's sake, Ian, you just got married..." Will opens his eyes at Ian disbelievingly.
"I don't see what it has to do with my question on whether or not you'd like to do watersports with me." Ian pouts.
Thou shalt not steal
"Fucking Julian Cope!" Ian shrieked.
[ Reference: http://nardwuar.com/vs/ian_mcculloch/ian_mcculloch-page2.html "He stole three of my tunes..."]
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor
"Hello, Johnny? It's Ian McCulloch. I'm calling you from a pay-phone, I wanted to tell you that the demo tapes we did got stolen from my car this morning. Yeah, I'm really sorry... Alright, I'll talk to you later, I've got to run home. I think I left a fish cooking in the oven, I gotta hang up. Bye... Watcha doing, Will?... No, don't touch that. Heh... Awwhh... Stop messing with my nipple! I told you I'm calling Johnny. Oh crap, I put the phone down, didn't I?... Dammit."
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife
"Do you want to, you know, split the cab and go somewhere private?"
Will crosses his arms, looking silently at Ian.
"What about your wife, is she up for a quickie?"
"I'm going to kill you, one of these days..." Will mumbles.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods
"Did you see my '...Waiting For The Man' single, Ian?"
Ian was sat on the floor, looking at the sleeve.
"You can't take it. It's not my fault you keep losing your copy."
[ I'm Waiting For The Man ]